Humans aren’t good at saying what they really mean the first time. I experienced this first hand when I looked back on a conversation I had with a friend just yesterday. I immediately wanted a second chance to refine so many things I said.
However, given proper feedback, humans are good at iterating and tweaking a formula until they get it right, and they usually do this pretty quickly. This is the principle that drives the agile method of software development. If you apply this approach to conversations, you should see your words increasingly reflect your true message with each iteration.
As with all things that require practice, the more chances you get to do this, the faster you refine your words.
That being said, even experienced people take time to find their footing on a topic that’s unfamiliar to them. The important point is to recognize it and build a process around refining the original thought.
I’m definitely still a grasshopper in this regard, so since you’re reading this, I ask this of you: if it’s the first time you’ve heard me talk or write about something, don’t take me too seriously. I probably haven’t solidified what I wanted to say and I’ll have a better answer next time.